Rob Beckett reveals secret mental health battle after feeling ‘it would be better if I was dead’

Comedian Rob Beckett has revealed he struggled with thoughts of suicide.

The comic, 35, writes in his autobiography about his secret mental health battle after feeling ‘it would be better if I was dead’.

These thoughts crept in while Rob shot a TV show in South Africa in 2020 – despite ‘surpassing my wildest dreams’.

Revelation: Comedian Rob Beckett has revealed he struggled with thoughts of suicide

‘On January 4, 2020, I was nailing it. I had just flown into Cape Town, South Africa, in first class to film a TV show,’ he writes. ‘The show was watching cricket, drinking beer and going on safari with one of my best mates AND ­getting paid.

‘This filming was squeezed in ­during a nationwide sell-out tour. Happily married to the love of my life, with two kids in a family home newly renovated, I had surpassed my wildest dreams.

‘But I was the unhappiest I have ever been. I woke up on January 5 in a five-star hotel room thinking it would be better and easier for ­everyone if I was dead.

‘I put on a smile and finished filming. I got back to the UK and told my wife and my friend/manager how I felt.

Honest: The comic, 35, writes in his autobiography about his secret mental health battle after feeling ‘it would be better if I was dead’

‘Then I went straight to a ­therapist, who I saw weekly for six months, and I still check in with the therapist when I feel the ­darkness creep in.

‘I am telling you this as I always promote the message that people should talk about mental health, but I rarely do.

‘So here I am, talking. I wanted to die when I had everything I ever wanted. So never judge yourself for feeling low. Tell someone and they will help you feel better.’

Rob also explains that the pandemic helped him to slow down, and heal as a result. 

Brave face: ‘I put on a smile and finished filming. I got back to the UK and told my wife and my friend/manager how I felt,’ he said

‘The truth is that if I’d carried on working that hard, it would all have fallen apart. But acknowledging that I was unhappy and doing something about it, along with having time off to recover and reflect, rejuvenated me,’ he writes. ‘I am now ­motivated by excitement and possibilities, not the fear of losing it all. I no longer set targets based on what other people see as success.

‘Who cares if you’ve sold out the Hammersmith Apollo and are flying first class if you’re crying in your bed. I no longer live in fear of failing to reach society’s idea of achievement.

‘Each day can be a success if you go to bed after enjoying your day and you look ­forward to the next one. It has taken a long time and been quite a journey to get to this place, but I think Rob Beckett the person is learning to be as ­confident as Rob Beckett the performer.’

For confidential 24/7 support in the UK, call Samaritans on 116 123 or visit a local Samaritans branch, see www.samaritans.org for details.