How to be a better ally
“One of the biggest challenges that can come with being bisexual is a feeling of isolation. This is particularly true for bisexual folks who are in more heterosexual social circles, but can also happen for those in more traditional gay or lesbian communities,” explains Ackerman.
Whether you’re in the queer community or not, whether you know someone who is out as bi or not, it’s important to understand the community’s struggles and be able to speak with love and kindness about bisexuality — or, at the very least, not speak with ignorance or malice.
Being a bi+ advocate in your community can have a huge impact: “You never know who around you is going to really take that to heart and feel safe and seen as a result,” says Haggett Silverman.
Being an advocate and ally is pretty simple: Don’t mislabel folks, don’t make assumptions about their identity, and use the pronouns and names they would like you to use.
If you need some guidance on how to do this, check out GLAAD’s guide to inclusive language, the BRC’s brochure on how to be a bi+ ally, The Trevor Project’s guide on how to support bisexual youth, and ways to support your child when they come out.
If you’re a therapist or a clinician looking to be more inclusive, the National LGBTQ+ Health Education Center has an extensive library of free learning materials.
We’re also big fans of being proactive, so check out these ways to your workplace more LGBTQ+ inclusive and LGBTQ-friendly books to read with your child to let them know they don’t have to fit in a predetermined box.
If nothing else, the best thing you can do as an ally is to listen. “Just being there to listen to somebody and let them know that you care — that the research is quite clear that makes a really significant difference for folks,” Haden adds. –Rachael Schultz and Rachel Mendelson
Check out these products to further your education or showcase your allyship for the bi+ community:
This well-researched and engaging manifesto includes insight on what it means to be bi, and advice on dating, sex, biphobia, bi-erasure, coming out, and insight into the bi community, all from first-hand accounts from bi advocates
Show support for your bi child, partner, or coworker by sipping out of this subtle, bisexual pride flag mug.
Show solidarity by donning bi-support on your wrist everywhere you go with these friendship bracelets, a portion of which proceeds go to the ACLU to continue the fight for equal rights.
Little Kelp is maybe a sea unicorn, maybe a land narwhal — they’re not quite sure which. After learning about both, Kelp learns they don’t have to choose and their truest friends are there regardless of how they identify.
Conceived by John Oliver, this delightful tale of a bunny who wants to settle down with his bunny-love, Wesley, only to be blocked by the repulsive Stink Bug, is an educational and cathartic tale about continuing to fight for the love you feel, despite others ignorance. An important tale for those whose love is threatened, and for those who have the potential to speak up.
This memoir follows Meredith, once a young boy with albinism from the Philippines, who, on an academic scholarship at Harvard, discovers communities where she can explore the complexities of sexuality, gender, race, class, and where she fits within it all. This book shines a light on the struggles of navigating adolescence and young adulthood when you identify differently than how you present and the fluid construction of sexuality and gender.
George M. Johnson, a prominent journalist and activist, writes about his childhood through young adulthood to paint a searingly honest portrait of the successes and setbacks experienced by Black queer boys. This memoir is both an exploration and a guide for whoever is looking for affirmation and, moreover, celebration over the validity of their identity.
