Peter Farlow’s father never spoke to him about his emotions. “That’s a common thing with men,” the 65-year-old says. It made seeking help difficult; for four years he struggled with anxiety and depression, visiting various clinics but never finding his way.
“That’s when I heard about this men’s circle being set up,” he says. “So I went along with the encouragement of my wife and there was a group of men there who could verbalise their emotions and talk about things I probably have never been able to talk about with other men.”
Held in regional and rural communities across Australia, the men’s circles offer a community-based, preventive approach to mental health care, enabling men of all ages to connect while developing the necessary skills to express their emotions.
The circles are run by the charity Outback Mind. Farlow has been attending the spaces in Agnes Water, a coastal town in Queensland.
“Through Outback Mind, [we have] a vehicle to be able to talk to other guys and build friendships. Women are really good at doing all this but men don’t,” he says.
“If you’re in a good headspace, it’s amazing how you can solve a problem.”
‘The more honest you are, the more benefit you get’
The men’s circles are facilitated by local men and are held everywhere from Horsham in Victoria to Cygnet in Tasmania and Gladstone in Queensland.
Bruce Zelinski is a facilitator at the Gladstone circle. He says after years of seeing his own counsellor, he realised it wasn’t that men didn’t want to talk; it was more that some “don’t have the software”.
“The reason [the circles] work so well is because men get to hear other men open up in a space that’s just there for that,” he says. “There’s nothing else to be doing. This is all we’re here to do and there’s no wrong answers.
“Often I’ll hear men speak about something similar to what we have going on and that isolation is broken.”
The challenge is getting the men through the door. “Some places really take off more than others,” Zelinski says.
“Often you’ll see guys pace around the front and they might come in, have a look and then leave. But when they do eventually come in, they realise it’s a very honest space and the more honest you are, the more benefit you get.”
Last year up to 2,500 men attended a men’s circle held by the charity. Zelinski, who is now studying to be a counsellor, says it is “extremely powerful” to see fathers attending with their sons.
“You’re a young guy and you’ve never heard your old man open up about anything and then all of a sudden you get to hear this whole new side of him,” he says. “It just deepens that relationship.”
The founder of Outback Mind, Aaron Schultz, says he started the foundation after losing a friend to suicide.
Men account for approximately 75% of all suicides. A report released by the National Rural Health Alliance in 2021 stated that to reduce suicide attempts, men required support for emotional expression, help-seeking behaviour and addressing their traditional gender roles.
“It’s more than having a barbecue and a yarn,” Schultz says. “It’s really about teaching people skills they’ve missed.
“All the guys that run the circles are trained and … have clinical guidance and advice. We will utilise professional counsellors if need be, but we want to be able to empower men to be able to open up in a safe space to talk about stuff where they can express their emotions rather than suppress them.”
Schultz moved to Ballarat in May with the aim of providing anti-domestic violence training and ELMA (emotional literacy and mindset) education which he has started introducing into workplaces. The Grampians region, which includes Ballarat, has a higher rate of family violence incidents than the state average.
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Regions still need clinical care
The chief executive of the National Rural Health Alliance, Susi Tegen, says it is important for clinical care to remain the primary source of mental health support in rural, regional and remote communities.
“We need to fund and support the infrastructure to keep people working and [support the] training of clinicians in the regions,” she says. “We know the rates of self-harm and suicide increase with remoteness and the big issue has been that in rural Australia you have so many complex issues and structural problems that make it even harder to access care.”
Tegen says volunteer-led programs such as the Outback Mind men’s circles, while “incredibly valuable when often there is nothing else”, are not a replacement for specific clinical psychological services.
They are generally run as not-for-profit organisations and rely on sponsors, partnerships and donations – making funding a challenge when rolling out programs in remote areas.
“Why is it that we don’t have governments supporting these types of community initiatives?” Tegen says. “The alternative is worse for communities and governments alike.”
Kyle de Leeuw, a senior psychologist and director of clinical services at Mind Life in Ballarat, says digital and telehealth services offer new avenues for mental health support in geographically isolated areas but more services are still needed.
“While telehealth can provide privacy and flexibility, it also has limitations,” he says. “For some men, accessing support online can align with tendencies to avoid emotional exposure, potentially reinforcing isolation rather than alleviating it.
“Digital services often fall short when it comes to crisis intervention and establishing the rapport that is crucial for engaging men in meaningful therapeutic relationships. More effective approaches often involve community-based programs that feature relatable role models.”
Early intervention programs, De Leeuw says, are crucial in promoting emotional literacy and mental health awareness.
“In a world that often feels disconnected and isolating, these spaces allow for the development of genuine, face-to-face connections,” he says.
For Farlow, the circles have become a place to build resilience.
“We embrace each other at the start of the night and the end of the night. And sometimes you feel you just don’t want to go, but every time at the end of the night you feel like a weight has been lifted off your mind,” he says.
“You have to put yourself out there or it’s not going to benefit you. You will always feel good.”
